What if he sings this song to you though
But instead of “It’s my dick in a box” he croons, “It’s the year of my cock.”
~ Signora Paola (who is now in complete hysterics imagining Jacob singing that song please excuse her while she tries not to hyperventilate)
Daidí Shay and I will parent for the ones thirsty for Signore Frye.
♡ Mama Fiora
From your lips to God’s ears, my friend. But I would like to offer this challenge as well: The lack of Haystack entries of your favourite character means that it’s waiting for you to write something. 😉 Let your imagination run wild! If you’ve confessed your sins to us already then believe me when I say that you are already halfway there.
If you’re thinking, “But I’m not a good writer” then I’d like you to take that thought by its tail, crush it, and throw it away. We will never judge anyone’s writing skills. ♥️
And please remember what the great Bob Ross said:
Love,
~ Signora Paola
That’s right. And this is your father, kids.
Y’all best behave yourselves while your Mommy and Daddy are around.
~ Signora Mommy Paola
I could give you a big kiss right now, my dearest anon. All of us 1981 babies are the most amazing people ever because we are born in the Year of the Cock!
So, the question is: 20-year-old Jacob or 40-year-old Jacob? The latter is closer to us in age, but I certainly wouldn’t mind fooling around with a Jacob who’s 15 years my junior as well.
I mean he does prefer older women doesn’t he *coughs*
~ Signora Paola
Grazie di cuore, my dearest anon! We always try our best to be welcoming and helpful to each and one of you. Now, we’re not perfect and we may stumble along the way, so we trust you our patrons to be forthcoming to us about any problems. ♥️
Love,
~ Signora Paola
Personally, I think it’s That Moustache.
~ Signora Paola (although she also highly appreciates the velvety rich tones of Mister Starrick’s voice)
If you’ve been doing this for 3 years and have processed thousands of confessions eventually you build up a sort of tolerance for these things. 😉
Seriously, though, it’s not really the shocking nature that gets to me. It’s when we get an occasional strange confession that I go
~ Signora Paola
Awww, grazie mille for your very sweet and wonderful words! I’m constantly amazed that this bordello – in all its dirty silliness and unrepentant shamelessness – has actually helped people in its own little way. I don’t think I’ll get over it. ♥️
Love,
~ Signora Paola
You’ve got to wonder who among the Assassins/Templars would be the worst offender of Dad Jokes.
~ Signora Paola