There’s just no escape from Jacob’s Temptation, my friend. Everyone – and I do mean, everyone – who stands within his radius is bound to fall for his charms as clearly illustrated here~
Please do keep the beautiful sins coming! Remember that we wouldn’t have gotten this far without you. We couldn’t have asked for better patrons (´∀｀)♡
I see you’re at a loss of words… We will take it as a compliment and work even harder to please you and our other patrons. Hope you stay tuned for more~
*Friendly reminder that we are no longer accepting anymore dirty/non-dirty head-canon questions! We are only posting these here to clear out the remaining questions in our Drafts page. Thank you!* (ʘ‿ʘ ✿)
Sweet summer child, let me give you the face claims I’ve picked for the era I chose to write a fan fic about (it’s still a work-in-progress btw, but when it’s done, I’ll have it on the 50 Pene page): 1950s/60s Mid-century Modern AU
Warning: this post is PICTURE HEAVY! Pics are shown under the cut~
Altaïr/Desmond/Ezio:
Francisco Randez of course–he’s the face model for Altaïr/Desmond/Ezio. although I don’t think he can act as well as he can model…so maybe I’d choose Milo Ventimiglia instead :
And then Pedro Pascal for older Ezio:
Lucy Stillman:
Kristen Bell is an obvious choice, since her character was modeled after her. Blonde bombshell femme fatale spy, yes~
Aveline de Grandpré:
Zoe Saldana. She’d make Aveline into a good femme fatale assassin~
Elise de la Serre:
Catherine Bérubé, the face model for Elise. ^ Also Isla Fisher (of The Great Gatsby fame) may also be a good choice:
Arno Dorian:
Dan Jeannotte, Arno’s voice actor. He can go play as the good cop in crime scene investigations, or be the federal secret agent lol ARREST ME, OFFICER~
(ʘ‿ʘ ✿)
Shao Jun:
Zhang Ziyi. ^ I think she’d look nice in vintage fashion.
Arbaaz Mir:
Vidyut Jamwal, Bollywood actor-turned-model. Uhm well HELLO~ (ʘ‿ʘ ✿)
Nikolai Orelov:
He was great in Dracula Untold, and I think he has that sort of Eastern European air down so~ (ʘ‿ʘ ✿)
Evie Frye:
Her voice actress, Victoria Atkin. I think she’d look super cute with the 60s beehive lol
Jacob Frye:
Paul Amos–need I say more? lol
Lydia Frye:
Michelle Dockery of Downtown Abbey fame ^
Adéwalé:
Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbajeas as…Adéwalé Yes. Same name actor.
Connor/Ratonhnhaké:ton:
Michael Hudson for a young Connor, but Eddie Spears for older Connor:
Edward Kenway:
I think it’s fanon by now that Chirs Hemsworth is the fan-preferred casting for Edward ahaha. Although Eddy’s voice actor (Matt Ryan) isn’t so bad looking himself. He just needs to dye his hair blond lol:
Jon Hamm of Mad Men fame, especially as 30-something year old Haytham because HNNNNNNNGH~ this suave son of a gun’s got the Bond-like qualities and sassiness needed to play Hatham Kenway. I think everyone knows by now that I CANNOT UNSEE Jon Hamm as Haytham LOL (ʘ‿ʘ ✿)
This is problematic, my dear anon. If Jacob Frye requires nearly 100% of your attention daily, can you even imagine the trouble of trying to shut up his Pene™ voice?
Of course, there is one foolproof way to shut it up~
~ Signora Paola
Jacob stirred restlessly, shifting from one side to the other in his seat. “Yes, it is a VERY NICE DAY TODAY, DON’T YOU THINK?!” he wailed, practically shouting at the end of his statement. Whipping off his hat, he positioned it on top of his lap, and began loudly humming Beethoven’s 9th symphony.
“What’s wrong, Jacob?” she asked, confused by her lover’s erratic behaviour. She looked him up and down, from the thin layer of sweat on his brow to the pained expression he wore, and to the stiff way he was holding himself.
Breifly ceasing to hum, Jacob opened his mouth to announce that he was fine, but before he could utter a single syllable, a high-pitched squeak piped up from uner his hat. “Oh shit,” he muttered, frantically searching the sitting room for a pillow or cushion.
Curious, and concerned, she put a hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “Honey, I’m sure it’s fine… whatever it is.” With her other hand she picked up Jacob’s top hat off his crotch and placed it on the arm of the sofa. Smiling at Jacob’s obvious erection within his pants, she kissed him on the lips.
When the kiss broke off, she undid his pants, and out popped Jacob’s pene. “It’s cold in here!” it shrilled, doing an upright dance. “Warm me up, sweetheart!” it directed this final statement at her, and she nearly fainted.
Holding on to the sofa, she took several deep breaths before looking at it again. It had a teensy tiny top hat. Jacob groaned, and turned red when he saw how intensely she was looking at his pene. She stroked it with her hand, and Jacob’s pene got even more excited. “Oh yeah, that’s the stuff. I get RESULTS, Big Guy, you should try it someday!”
THIS IS PERFECTION. THIS SHOULD WIN NUMEROUS AWARDS. THIS SHOULD BE PLACED IN JACOB FRYE’S BIOGRAPHY.
