Browsing Tag

reblog

Uncategorized

Not really a dirty secret. I just want to say that all the female Assassins and Templars are hot. They deserve more love!

July 23, 2020

dirtyasscreedsecrets:

Indeed, these bellezze do~

image
image
image
image
image
image
image
image

~ Ezio  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

In light of the abuse and corruption scandals happening at Ubisoft, I would like to reblog this again. A lot of these beautiful ladies also deserve their own dedicated leading roles. They deserve to have their original plots be heard and played.

— Ezio

Uncategorized

July 22, 2020

britishhotassassin:

prisma-shit:

assassinscreedstuff:

he smells something

It looks more like a silent orgasm

Well said

Uncategorized

July 20, 2020

blacktigersprings:

wangtaeil:

you know what’s really frustrating? the rules of how to get posts to appear in the tags are different for literally everyone. some people can only use 4 tags. some people cant post a link to any site that isnt tumblr. some people can only post one image. some people’s work will only show if they’ve hit a certain unspecified amount of notes already on that particular post. some people can only use tags they use frequently. some people have to post, delete and repost four or five times before anything works. some people can only use a combination of these things and there are still variables that i havent listed. its different for everyone and it really shouldnt be which makes it even more important to support content creators by reblogging their work. the website itself may be against us, but you dont have to be. please

or, you know, we could all just move to pillowfort and say good riddance to the dying wreck that has been tumblr since yahoo bought it

Uncategorized

New followers!?

July 19, 2020

the-watermelon-wolf:

dirtyasscreedsecrets:

Since I came back to rebuild @dirtyasscreedsecrets​ from the Great (Porn) Purge of 2019, I have seen a loss in followers. But ever since Tumblergo began censoring us, we’ve gained more instead. What a surprise!

We gained 10+ followers since the start of the censorship!

I guess it goes to show that you can’t stop us, Tumblergo~

Thank to all the new recruits! And please, pardon our dust. We are in the midst of rebuilding the Brotherhood if things get worse (we encourage you to check out our DACS Dreamwidth page for the time being). Nonetheless, we appreciate your support during these troubling times.

Vittoria Agli Assassini!

— Ezio

If we come up with code words for our dirty ones then Tumblr can’t censor us. I don’t mean things like pe**s or cucumber= penis. I’m talking like:

Penis= cupcake

Breasts= computer

“I would like to eat one of Ezio’s fresh homemade cupcakes

“Looks like Evie needs some help getting my wifi on her new computer

Yeah this is probably a bad idea…

Well, we do have a page dedicated to that called, “Ezio’s pene penne pasta”. Now, if only Tumblergo would stop censoring it…

*sigh*

It will be almost 1 week since I’ve sent my appeal. If I get nothing after that, then I will do the painful operation of moving all these confessions to the DACS Dreamwidth page.

— Ezio

Uncategorized

Assassin’s creed headcanon: How they would react if  your breasts were seen through the clothing.

July 17, 2020

celestialgaea:

Altaïr ibn la’ahad

Altaïr was watching you from his chamber that was across your window in the Masyaf castle. The very delicate fabric of your nightgown embraced your still wet skin, causing the fabric to turn transparent. He couldn’t help but let his eyes roam several times over your silky soft breasts, admiring your stiff nipples. He had to clear his throat several times because of the intense heat he was experiencing. In bed, he was staring at the ceiling and still saw the image of your breasts in front of him.

Ezio auditore da firenze

When Ezio decided to retire to his bedchamber in Monteriggioni he was passing through the corridors when he caught a glimp of the shining golden light that shone through the door that stood ajar. He knew it was inappropriate, but he couldn’t withdraw his curiosity. With prying eyes he curiously watched you combing your hair through the small slit between the door and the doorframe. With a thick gulp he lowered his gaze until they reached your beautiful breasts. He licked his scarred lips and bit them, trying to tame the desire to kiss and suck them.

Connor Kenway/Ratonhnhaké:ton

It was deep in the afternoon and Connor still hadn’t returned yet. Achilles gave up the waiting and went to bed while you refused to sleep until Connor was back. It began raining heavily, making the nightgown cling desperately onto your curves. It did not take a few more minutes before Connor arrived, soaking wet from the rain. His eyes wandered to your petite body and he immediatley froze when his eyes fixated on your breasts. He gulped several times before his face flushed in a deep red that was visible even in the weak lights. He cleared his throat and walked past you, mubmbling a soft ‘Goodnight, Y/N’ while his hand covered the big bulge that grew in his pants.

Haytham Kenway

Haytham would be more professional about it than his son, but that doesn’t mean that he isn’t feeling the arousal. He woke you up far earlier than expected to give you new orders to be executed immediately. After a few knocks on the door you had opened it, meeting his gaze in a sleepy manner only wearing a thin nightgown that exposed your bare shoulders. His gaze wandered subtly to your chest before looking back at your face. His expression was still serious, but he softly wetted his lips with his tongue and cleared his throat a little before giving the orders. His gaze wandered several times to your breasts and back to your eyes, feeling his pants tighten a little before he stormed off.

Shay Cormac

Haytham had sent Shay to you to give you your new orders for tomorrow morning because he was busy with his paperwork. Shay had to knock several times before you opened the door, your naked body covered by a thin nightgown. He would get way to aroused because having to sail the seas for a few weeks to months surrounded by only men made him very frustrated. He’d have a very hard time to keep his eyes on your face without wandering along your slender neck to your collarbone to your chest imagining how he’d eagerly takes off your nightgown and kisses every part of your bare skin.

Edward Kenway

Just like Shay, Edward would get very frustrated after sailing the seas for months only surrounded by men. So after seeing your private parts through your clothing he would implode. He would give you teasing remarks about your exposed chest and even dares bumping accidentally against you with the bulge in his pants so you’d feel how aroused you made him. 

Arno Dorian

He would get very flustred, his face and ears covered in a reddish tint. He wold probably gape slightly without realising and because he is such a gentlemen he would get ashamed of his obnoxious actions. But he’d still occasionally steal glances of your private parts while licking his lips and swallows the lump that formed in his throat.

Jacob Frye

This man who always has something to say or a cocky remark to give would suspiciously turn very quit, flustered and aroused at first. But just like Edward he would have the guts to tease you with your “exposed” bodily features in a heated way. He would even dare to say ‘Excited to see me, love?’ reffering to your stiff nipples. His mind would wander and think about his warm big, rough hands caressing every inch of your body and kneeding your breasts.

Uncategorized

July 12, 2020

tumblr_qd9kd9c0aK1yjvry8o1

haythamsenpai:

Script:

[Shay swaying all over the bar]

It’s my birthday! Who wants to buy me a drink? Aye, who’s got a refill? I want another! BARKEEP! Get me another rum! Give me another one…I want two more! One…two…seven…hey. Hey, here-youuu d’yondon’ look-at-me-like-that…

[Someone bothers Shay]

Hey. COME ‘AN HERE ‘AN SAY THAT TO MY—Oh, hello! Whass yorrr name, heh? Hey, don’t walk away from me! You know you want it! MWHAHAHAHA…

[Shay spots an attractive patron…]

*wooo* What a lovely target! *whoop* Come over here! *whewp* Hey, you look pretty, huehuehue…uhmmherghungh, nice ‘an thirsty…why don’ ye come o’er ‘ere for a dance? Huehuehue…*wheep* Let me pull you into the discussion! *pewwhip* Hey. Hey, ‘ere dy’or’erdumgh, don’ look-at-me-like-that…Ah, you’re lookin’ for a challenge, are ye? Hoohhgh…how many of you are there right ‘ere? What is that!? Stop it! Get away from me! ‘Ey, DON’T TOUCH ME! Hey, whass dat? Free coin!

[Someone tosses a coin to Shay]

Oh, shiny! Hah, JUST WHAT I NEEDED! WAIT ‘TIL THE LADS SEE THIS!

[Some dumb bar fight about to ensue…]

YE ALL WISH YE HAD THIS! YOU ALL WISH YOU WERE ME! YOU ALL WISH—’EY! HOW DARE YOU! THIS ONE’S MINE!

[After all the ruckus…]

D’ye-have-any-more-’o-this-one? Hey, you. You! God Save the King. Long live King Georgssshhhe…What d’ye do with a drunken sssailor? Why is the rum always gone?

image

I may or may not show this to Steven Piovesan

Credit: @allsoundsasscreed for some of the sound clips and Rhodri McDonagh for the backing track

Uncategorized

March 12, 2020

dirtyasscreedsecrets:

Send in some loving to that one Assassin that we went a glorious journey with: Desmond Miles! His birthday is on March 13 so make sure you send in your birthday confessions now!

Uncategorized

March 8, 2020

dirtyasscreedsecrets:

Send in some loving to our pirate Assassin: Edward Kenway! His birthday is on March 10 so make sure you send in your birthday confessions now!

Uncategorized

February 11, 2020

dirtyasscreedsecrets:

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and we want you to send us your dirty Valentine-related confessions ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) And since it’s the day of hearts, the more romantic (and naughty!) it is, the better!

We are waiting! 😏