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molto bene

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New followers!?

July 16, 2020

Since I came back to rebuild @dirtyasscreedsecrets​ from the Great (Porn) Purge of 2019, I have seen a loss in followers. But ever since Tumblergo began censoring us, we’ve gained more instead. What a surprise!

We gained 10+ followers since the start of the censorship!

I guess it goes to show that you can’t stop us, Tumblergo~

Thank to all the new recruits! And please, pardon our dust. We are in the midst of rebuilding the Brotherhood if things get worse (we encourage you to check out our DACS Dreamwidth page for the time being). Nonetheless, we appreciate your support during these troubling times.

Vittoria Agli Assassini!

— Ezio

Miscellaneous

This blog has ruined food for me. Like, whenever we have spaghetti we have spicy Italian sausage and my mind wanders to Ezio and the gutter. Hot Italian sausage. Dammit. God fucking dammit.

July 4, 2016

Come join in my sausage fest, then, anonimo.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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– Ezio Auditore

DACS Greatest Hits

This is mostly humorous than dirty but can we get a headcanon of how the assassins try to hide their boners in public because as I come to understand they can just happen randomly. He he I’m so immature.

June 30, 2016

Altaïr: He doesn’t even care–

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Maybe he hides it by just keeping his legs together, and then his robes will fall back into their natural spot.

Jacob: TOP HAT M’LADY; HE’D HIDE IT WITH HIS TOP HAT

Connor: ….There’s no way he can hide that boner. I mean just look at those tight trousers–

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Maybe he’d try covering it with his robes idk. lol

Edward: Just like Jacob, he uses THE HAT, THE PIRATE HAT M’LADY

Adéwalé: He’d hide it by running into the ocean and swimming.

Haytham: like this–

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Ezio: why should I hide mine? That’s how you get the ladies.

– Ezio Auditore

DACS Greatest Hits, Miscellaneous

Hi Ezio! I don’t know if you received my question but just in case you didn’t: Signore, I’m just curious what the story is behind ‘the face’ [( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)] and what makes it so perfetto. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I know it’s a silly question, but I see ‘the face’ used around here a lot.

April 2, 2016

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Ahh yes the face~

To be honest, it’s sort of an inside joke between me and my role-playing friends, and it just…kind of spilled over to how I manage this blog, eheh. The story goes like this:

We happen to stumble upon one of those poorly written Ezio drabbles, and in the scene, Ezio and some OC kiss each other–and just the way it was written was so bad, we couldn’t help but laugh. And the moment Ezio pulled away, he whispered, “Perfecto….”

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Okay first of all, that’s the WRONG LANGUAGE LMAAAAOOOOOO

Second of all, it’s…

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It’s not:

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As for the ‘face’? It just…somehow kinda found its way into that crazy madness, and so now we just end up calling it the ‘Perfecto face’ instead of ‘Le Lenny Face’ lol. And we use it every time now we find something…

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~ Signore Ezio

Confessions

April 1, 2016

 

‘I want to lick Ezio’s pene penne pasta.’

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– Ezio Auditore