It’s my birthday! Who wants to buy me a drink? Aye, who’s got a refill? I want another! BARKEEP! Get me another rum! Give me another one…I want two more! One…two…seven…hey. Hey, here-youuu d’yon—don’ look-at-me-like-that…
[Someone bothers Shay]
Hey. COME ‘AN HERE ‘AN SAY THAT TO MY—Oh, hello! Whass yorrr name, heh? Hey, don’t walk away from me! You know you want it! MWHAHAHAHA…
[Shay spots an attractive patron…]
*wooo* What a lovely target! *whoop* Come over here! *whewp* Hey, you look pretty, huehuehue…uhmmherghungh, nice ‘an thirsty…why don’ ye come o’er ‘ere for a dance? Huehuehue…*wheep* Let me pull you into the discussion! *pewwhip* Hey. Hey, ‘ere dy’or’erdumgh, don’ look-at-me-like-that…Ah, you’re lookin’ for a challenge, are ye? Hoohhgh…how many of you are there right ‘ere? What is that!? Stop it! Get away from me! ‘Ey, DON’T TOUCH ME! Hey, whass dat? Free coin!
[Someone tosses a coin to Shay]
Oh, shiny! Hah, JUST WHAT I NEEDED! WAIT ‘TIL THE LADS SEE THIS!
[Some dumb bar fight about to ensue…]
YE ALL WISH YE HAD THIS! YOU ALL WISH YOU WERE ME! YOU ALL WISH—’EY! HOW DARE YOU! THIS ONE’S MINE!
[After all the ruckus…]
D’ye-have-any-more-’o-this-one? Hey, you. You! God Save the King. Long live King Georgssshhhe…What d’ye do with a drunken sssailor? Why is the rum always gone?
I always wonder what they’re thinking behind those judgmental stares.
What are they plotting? To take over mankind, one human at a time?
Do they ponder how the entire world would bow down to their greatness whilst they sharpen their claws?
Do they have alien kitteh overlords that they answer to, and they’re just waiting for that opportune moment to strike and bring humanity to its collective knees?
Or maybe… maybe they’re truly judging us for our internet browsing habits.
WHAT IS GOING ON BEHIND THEIR KITTEH HEADS?
THE WORLD MUST FIND OUT. MAYBE AFFECTION IS THE KEY?
