Browsing Tag

gifs

Miscellaneous

Hey ladies (and gentleman), my girlfriend and I just broke up so I was wondering if you could maybe post a few cute/funny/smutty assassin pics? Thank you x

May 5, 2016

Sure thing

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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– Ezio Auditore

Let the Assassins strut their way to your room and tell you that the only Hot Stuff they’re looking for is you~

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Then let Connor prepare you a warm cup of coffee in the morning while he shows off his barista skills~

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(Video here)

And speaking of dancing…

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The Jacob Triplets is always ready to give their special dance number. Or if you’d rather have something less strenuous Jacob enjoins you to play a game of “Resist The Urge To Squish My Cheeks”~

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~ Signora Paola (I could honestly add more but my internet connection is having its own Throwback Thursday and is doing a marvellous impression of a dial-up modem right now, so I hope these would suffice, my friend ♥)

Miscellaneous

I feel so out of place on this confession blog. I keep seeing this swanky, saucy fantasies and I’m just over here like “IMMA GET ME A BARREL OF LUBE AND FUCKIN’ GANG BANG ALL THOSE BOYS MMMMM GOOD SHIT GOOD TIME”

May 4, 2016

[Anon r u my friend in real life because you sound like someone I know way back in high school who would say those exact same words, OMG]

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Sometimes I feel that way, too. Some days I just wanna do a Sinday Sunday confession where IMMA GO GET ME SUM FAT-AZZ SAUSAGES UP IN DIS BIZ AND HAVE A GOOD TIME, MMMHMMMMM YEA LICK IT GOOD GURL, YEA TWERK ON IT GURL TWERK IIIIITTT OUUUTTTT

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(I have a current admin confessional in the works about hot dogs…La Festa Italiana is to blame)

Confessions, Paola's Choice

May 2, 2016

“I cannot help it if I feel like biting his lips playfully whenever I see him smirk. Jacob Frye’s lips is sexy it drives me crazy. I would love to have those lips touching every inch of my body.”

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I mean… When you look at that face how can you not feel tempted to bite him or… well, let him bite you? Sei cosi seducente, Signore Frye~
~Claudia

[X]

I feel like biting is always involved when it comes to Signore Frye ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

~ Signora Paola

DACS Greatest Hits

Hey Lovely ladies (and Ezio), how do you think each of the assassins (and templars) would start their sex? foreplay, positioning or right in?

May 1, 2016

IMO, I think all of them would have some kind of foreplay before the main event. ;D I think what I answered here could happen, so to make it different I’m going to use GIFs again 8D Putting this under the cut as always; apologies if you’re viewing this in our actual blog page (it seems that Tumblr finally added the ‘Keep reading’ link on mobile… at least when viewed on your Dashboard). Some of these are really bordering towards NSFW territory so be sure you won’t get into trouble ;D

Desmond: Would bite and kiss you all over

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Altaïr: Would push you towards the bed and devour you

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Ezio: Would tease your most erogenous spots

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Connor: Would run his tongue all over your body

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Aveline: Would leave hickeys on your most delicate spots

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Edward: Would engage in heavy petting before heading straight towards the goods

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Adéwalé: Would you offer to give you a massage first

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Shay: Would tease you underneath your clothes

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Haytham: Would undress you verrrrrrry slowly

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Arno: Would take his sweet time kissing and savouring you

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Shao Jun: Would zero in towards your goods and tease you

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Arbaaz: Would glide and trace his fingers all over your body

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Evie: Would be a huuuge tease and perform the art of frottage

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Jacob: Would sample you first which may turn into a full meal

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~ Signora Paola

I’ll be using gifs as well, since images can say more than a thousand words. Mie scuse to users browsing in our blog as well. I do hope you enjoy them!

Desmond: he would push you to a wall and start making out with you.

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Altair: he would put your collar and show off his dominance to you.

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Ezio: would strip you slowly, letting his hands caress your skin.

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Connor: his hands would get busy, making you shudder.

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Aveline: she would waste no time and undressing you, to have you.

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Edward: would not waste any time in groping your bits.

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Adéwalé: would use ice to make you needy with desire.

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Shay: would run his hands and mouth over your body, the anticipation building.

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Haytham: would show you the pleasure on impact play.

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Arno: would seduce you kissing the back of your neck and caressing your skin.

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Shao Jun: would kiss all of your skin, going for the erogenous zones.

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Arbaaz: would play with some food, before actually eating you.

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Evie: would go for the price quickly, making sure your more than ready for her.

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Jacob: would let you know how hungry he’s for you and eat you right up.

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~Claudia

Dirty Reblogs

April 30, 2016

brotherhoot:

AltMal modern AU

Did you guys ask for moar Assassins in sexy suits?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

DACS Greatest Hits

Because today is 4/20, who among the Assassins/Templars would you say smoke tobacco, weed, or vapor?

April 21, 2016

Sorry this is late; I wasn’t able to get on a computer all day until now–well I think Desmond for sure has tried some weed lol, and probably also tried to share it with the group, but only Rebecca agreed.

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Altaïr, and he’d probably make a terrible pun to Malik about them being…hashashins, and try to twist the word into hashishins, because hashish is pretty much weed, right? Trollolololol. Although, I think those two are more likely to prefer their own country’s hookah more than anything.

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Shao Jun, although like our Syrian hash…asshins, would probably prefer the stuff that’s ‘trending’ in her country, like…opium.

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I think Connor would be a straight-edge type of person, although he would probably make an exception for tobacco, but only if it’s used in the traditional, sacred way of his people.

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Haytham on the other hand, probably has no qualms smoking a cig or two. He’d probably be that fancy-ass, three-piece suited billionaire businessman carrying around the fanciest, most expensive cigs, like Nat Shermans or something

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He’d definitely smoke some Nat Shermans–black & gold label:

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Edward and Adewalé would be more into cigars, especially dem good Cuban cigars.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

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Aveline would probably just smoke tobacco out of pipes, particularly periques. For cigarrettes, she’d smoke American Spirit since it has perique in it, and probably use a cigarette holder to smoke cigs.

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Welp, none of us admins here personally smoke, but either way, here’s to 4/20!

– Ezio Auditore

Dirty Reblogs

April 15, 2016

megustasermala:

marishash:

I just realized that Arno is the only protagonist that has outfits that don’t cover his…behinds. I hope Ubisoft will continue this route

@queen-bela @jiruchan @pharaoh-doll @haytham-senpai

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Miscellaneous

April 12, 2016

Claudia and I were talking a while ago about how frustrating it was that we would allow too much violence on our news and TV, but the mere suggestion of someone enjoying sex and their sexuality would be censored right away. I could go on and make pronouncements that this is probably one reason why any advanced alien civilisation that’s likely observing us right now wouldn’t want to deal with us, but I’m going to sound like I’m pontificating my own beliefs and I’d probably get side-eyed by many of you like Signore Frye here

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So I’ll just give you – and all our loyal patrons here – the biggest hugs.

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You are all safe here, my dears. ♥️♥️♥️

Love,
~ Signora Paola

P.S. And yes, we do have devoted lovers of Master Kenway! Just you wait, we have something brewing in the Haystack right now. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Miscellaneous

April 7, 2016

Well, well. Look who’s dominating our Porn Star Status tag

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You can almost hear Signore Frye go, “Well, naturally.”

And here is where we are issuing a challenge to you, our dearest patrons who helped Jacob gain the coveted Porn Star Overlord rank: We would like you to make a fanart celebrating this occasion. It could be humorous take or, well, something that could surely do justice to the “porn star” title. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You may submit to us or if you would rather post it in your own blog we would reblog it from you (just please remember to tag us so we would be able to see it).

Molte grazie and may this day fill you with many dirty thoughts, our beautiful sinners ♥️
~ Signora Paola

Let me also remind you that a confession reaches the Porn Star Status when it receives 69+ notes. So, it lies within you, our dearest patrons, to decide which confessions reach our most desired tag… Reblog & like your favorite confessions so they can achieve the Porn Star Status!

Happy sinning!
~Claudia