“Honestly, I’m not very interested in getting eaten out (at least not nearly as much as a lot of women seem to be), but I can’t help but think that Jacob, Ezio, and Desmond would be able to change my mind pretty quickly. ;)”
Honestly, I could squeeze, spank, slap, or whip any Assassin Ass and be happy. Butts are natural, butts are good; not everybody likes ‘em, but everybody should.
Confession [x]
“I know I said that this was the last, but I thought of one more dirty secret: I wanna pour some of that Shirley Templar all over Desmond’s abs and lap it up like a thirsty animal. Then I want him to Shirley my Templar. Okay, have a nice day, beautiful admins! – yours truly, the dirty foodie anon”.
‘Dirty food confession: I wanna taste me summa dat Malik’s leeks and Arno’s Durians.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)’
Image source: [x]
Sorry to use that image–I figured it was perfetto for this confession.
– Ezio Auditore
“I want to taste Altair’s shish kebab”.
Care to accompany this with some of Ma-leeks?
~Claudia
“Malik has been my favorite since I first started playing the games, my biggest kink is being tied down while being eaten out so a lot of my fantasies are of that man’s delicious mouth and tongue. Later, I blow him while he squirms under me moaning my name and pulling my hair”.
‘So it’s me again, Madonna Paola. I now know what to call Adéwalé’s–the “Curry Chicken Skewer”. Cesare’s is “the Giant Churro”–with extra hot chocolate sauce–or the “Extra Spicy Salami”, since…ya know…he’s half Spanish, half Italian. Shay’s is obviously the “Pepper Irish-style Sausage”, or maybe he’s the “Irish Cream”. 😉 Cuali (since he’s a damn sexy multiplayer character) is the “spicy Chili Chicken Burrito”. And Edward’s is the “Pirate Plantain”, extra long and extra spicy.’ Yasssss
Image sources: Google Images
Female pirate model: [NSFW]
A follow-up to this infamous food porn (heh, food porn *shot*) post from last year: [click], when I was still head of this bordello.
I am very, very sorry to get back to you anon, one year late. I hope you are still around to see this, and that the wait was worth it~
–Signore Auditore
“When I played Assassin’s Creed for the first time, I had a huge crush on Altair.. I once had this fantasy of him making passionate love to me after escaping some soldiers in one of the rooftop gardens in Damascus, which is just big enough for us both to lie down and merge naughty bits.. *sinful grin*”
(And yes, this Vex/Lost Girl reference was fully intended). If you guys like the idea I could try and write a Haystack story about it, because I think Altair still deserves more love 🙂
There you go, anon, a Vex gif! And yes, we would love if you wrote a drabble for our dear Altair! He needs all the love he can get.
~Claudia
[X]
“I adore rope bondage so much. I would love more than anything to teach the assassins some rope based restraints. The official reason is ‘in case we need to restrain templar prisoners’ but I think we know the real reason”.
Confessed by: safetywizard
[X]
‘I have this headcanon where the Assassin men are incubi, literal vampiric gods of sex and lust waging war against virginity and panties and celibacy in general. Ezio is their general, Jacob the marshal, Edward the captain. Shay is the spy, Altaïr the “novice,” and Connor/Ratonhnhaké:ton is the heavy artillery.’
Confession [x]
Altaïr art credit [x]
I had a lot of fun making these, so much thanks to @ellestrix for this wonderful headcanon. 8D
~ Signora Paola