‘I think the first ever video game character I’ve fantasized about was Lucy Stillman, I mean, thinking about her hiking that skirt up, man. Ever since, Ubisoft has always managed to add yet another very attractive lady I wouldn’t mind having a tumble with, from Rebecca Crane to Caterina Sforza to Lucrezia Borgia to Anne Bonny to Elise de la Serre… Man Ubisoft, knock it off already…’
“So there’s me, Connor, Edward, Haytham, Ezio, Altair, and Yusuf in a room having nasty, acrobatic sex all night. What I wouldgive to have them fuck me individually as well, fuck yes. Like we have a 7-day
schedule where I sleep with each one until we all meet in bed on the 7th day
for the group sex. Pure heaven on Earth.”
Like I told you before, I would love to be pushed against the wall by Alex Mercer and then having a threesome with him and Altair, we can call Desmond or Ezio to join us too.
‘Can I please have an orgy with the ladies of the DACS? There will be chocolate whipped cream and extremely hot and mindblowing sex happening.’
Paola render [x]
Fiora render [x]
I normally do not partake in any of the activities in this fine establishment, but I will make an exception to you, cucciola mia. <3
~ Sister Teodora
Anonimo, the cioccolato better be good~
– Signora Paola
Chocolate whipped cream, you say?
Count me in, anonimo.
– Fiora
Dear anonimo, it sounds like an interesting offer you are making. I cannot lose such a tempting opportunity, so I will have to say yes.
– Caterina
Whilst my brother is away, I’m more than happy to play and besides, its been quite some time since I’ve had a girls night in 😉 a yes on my part mio cara!
– Claudia
‘Thanks to Paola, Sister Teodora, Mary Read, and Anne Bonny I have finally figured out that I am bisexual :)’
Confession by [x]
‘I like to call Ezio’s pene “The Extra Spicy Italian Sausage”–and I’m not even sorry. I also call Connor’s “The American Hotdog”; Altaïr’s will always be “The Hot Beef Shish Kebab”. Arno’s is obviously “The Baguette” or perhaps “The Frankfort”, seeing as he’s also Austrian. Haytham’s is “The Banger” since he’s English. I have yet to come up with a nickname for Edward’s…’
I told you I would do something special for you, anon. Although you nearly made me get in trouble for it thanks to mio marito looking over my shoulder when I was editing this…
–Signora Paola
“Is it bad that every time I make out with my boyfriend, I either imagine Ezio, Connor, or Adewale and occasionally, Charles Vane? I mean, really, either I’m getting too attached to fictional characters or I’m just not having enough feelings for this dude.”
Not at all, anon. No at all…
– Caterina
‘Can I just say that the women of Assassin’s Creed have made me bisexual? I would give up bacon hamburgers for an orgy with Claudia, Teodora, Fiora, Maria, Rebecca, Lucy, the Lady Black and Elise. Oh, and don’t forget Paola, she’s my favorite ;)’
mod note: Paola very much appreciates this. 😉
‘I’m a straight male… but Altaïr, Ezio, Connor, Edward and Arno have made me seriously question my sexuality. Even my girlfriend is getting a little jealous ;)’
‘I don’t know how everyone can just choose between all these hot-ass characters, seriously, I would sell my soul to have them all as my personal masculine harem, templars and assassins equally, I would fuck them whenever I wanted to and they would be just too obsessed with me that they would fight each other for my attention and my treatments, my favorites for sure would be Ezio, Yusuf, Cesare and Haytham, just imagining the variety of sex, how each one would do it their own way makes me horny.’