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DACS Greatest Hits

Dear admins, your opinions on favorite public places to do the deed with each of the playable characters (so all the assassins + Shay & Haytham)?

March 3, 2016

My dear anon, we’re so sorry for the delay (and we still have several questions left to answer ;A;). Hopefully, our answers are good enough. <3 Will attempt to also put a modern ‘spin’ on everyone except Desmond by adding the likely places their modern versions would enjoy having sex in 😉

Desmond: Movie theatre, backmost seat. Alternatively, a dark hallway in a night club.

Altaïr: Rooftop for both versions, although his modern version would probably choose a more secluded building because he’d rather not have everyone else see the show.

Ezio: I am going to hell with this response, but… a church. Both versions. An unoccupied one, of course. He’d prefer it if it’s a large one like a cathedral where everything echoes.

Connor: Waterfalls/underneath the stars (could switch between both versions). The latter could take place anywhere as long as it’s safe (no threat of bears or Connor would personally rip them with his bare hands). ;D

Aveline: Behind the shrubbery of a garden/in the dressing room of a clothes shop.

Edward: Perhaps I’m influenced by some of the confessions here, but by the wheel of Jackdaw… or pretty much anywhere on the Jackdaw. His modern version would definitely love to christen swimming pools with a bit of the Kenway… extract.

Adéwalé: Both versions would love doing it by the beach (and idk why but I see him working as a lifeguard so… let your imagination run wild 8D)
Shay: In a meadow or a field of wildflowers. Like Connor I think he’d love it if there’s a great view of the sky above (and it wouldn’t be limited to just night skies nope).

Haytham: Balcony/by a huge window of an office (where’s he’s the billionaire CEO amirite). Unlike Altaïr he’d love the possibility that anyone could see you. 8D

Arno: Confessional booths, both versions. *coughs* He may be giving Ezio a run for his money on the “Which Assassin Is Most Likely To Defile A Religious Place?” contest. Alternatively: Hot air balloon. Ehem.

Shao Jun: Rooftop/by the window, although very discreet in both versions.

Arbaaz: Garden/by the porch that has a swing. Anything with swings really.

Evie: Carriage/limousine. Beyoncé’s Partition is playing in my mind right now. ;D It’d be more fun with the modern version, though, because there’s more privacy and we know Evie loves her privacy.

Jacob: Alley, both versions. But I also see his modern version as someone who would stop an elevator when you’re alone. Also: A proud member of The Mile High Club with over 30,000 miles worth of mileage. *coughs*

~ Signora Paola


As mia cara, Signora Paola, said ci dispiace for taking so long!

Desmond: Desmond seems like a guy that knows to have fun, so maybe in a concert or in a fitting room of fancy store, to make sure those clothes are a tight fit~

Altair: He would take you to a watchtower, after taking care of the guards, and take you there. In modern times, I see him having fun with you at the last seat of the movies.

Ezio: In Renaissance Italy he would be with you in a balcony, because he likes to show you off. Now, probably against a hotel window, you know high places and the possibility of been seeing fuel the passion.

Connor: Back then, probably in a lake/river that’s secluded enough to keep all to himself. In these times, probably in a park or camping site, the point is being close to him and nature.

Aveline: I can see her having fun in a confessional booth in a church in New Orleans. In these times, probably in the back seat of a car.

Edward: Most likely, back in the day, the Captain’s Cabin and he wouldn’t mind that crew would hear both of you. Now, in any secluded or solitary beach, feeling the sun, the sand and our dearest captain.

Adéwalé: Since he owned a ship, probably in the deck of it while on the sea and now maybe in his office. He works so hard, he must have fun from time to time.

Shay: In the rooftops of the building of New York/Boston, to keep the sky always close, just like you. Now, maybe in a dock of a lake at night or day, which ever~

Haytham: Back then he would probably take you in an alley, away from all the people in pubs and inns. Now, he would stop an elevator to… check how strong those railings are.

Arno: With Paris in the heat of the Revolution, you’ll get your heat on in Notre Dame most likely or maybe in

Château de Versailles… Now, in the bathroom of the closest Café he can get you in.

Shao Jun: She would have you in a bath house, letting the water and steam work their magic. Now, in an utility room of a school or maybe of your work place.

Arbaaz: He would seek you in a palace’s gardens to have fun there and in these times probably the back seat of his car.

Evie: I’m certain she likes high places, so in Victorian London she would either take you to Big Ben or The Tower of London. Now? Well how about a library? But you’d have to be quiet!

Jacob: Back in Victorian London, I’m certain he wouldn’t mind a carriage… while it tours the city! Now, in these modern times… Remember when I said he would take you to a photo-booth on Valentine’s Day (right here)? Well he would do you there too…. and keep the pictures! Naughty boy~

~Claudia

Secluded Haystack

I have a cuestion! If I want to write something with Seculed Haystack but I found that my idea (is something with phone sex) it’s already taken. Is it a problem if I write about the same topic or is considered plagiarism? I’m worried xD

March 2, 2016

Oh, definitely not! Plagiarism happens when a person copies someone’s writing in verbatim and passes it off as their own. Phone sex is a common topic in stories! And since I wrote that phone sex story you are referring to, you do not need to worry about the author accusing you of plagiarism. 🙂

Grazie!
~ Signora Paola

DACS Greatest Hits, Paola's Choice

I’ve always wanted to know… What were your admin’s favourite confessions of all time?

February 28, 2016

I’ve edited so many confessions that they sort of blur to me now and it’s honestly very difficult for me to answer this. I’m so sorry! ;A; I could reveal the first confession I sent here, though (this was way before I joined the mods). 😉

~ Signora Paola


There’s entirely too many wonderful choices to pick a favorite from everyone else’s confessions, so I’m going to follow caro Paola’s lead and say this particularly tame confession has a very personal place in my heart.

♡ Fiora


Well, I must say I do like many of the confessions sent to this blog, but I’ll have to go with this one. You see, I sent this confession a while ago and it definitely expresses my thoughts on my dear Connor.

~Claudia

Miscellaneous

I sent a message but I think I cancelled it by accident. Oops, anyway…I wanted to say I love the stories that are written for this blog. I really want to write a smut fanfic and I’ve been practicing a bit but I’m that person who…*whispers in embarrassment 0///0* doesn’t really know how sex works. Do you have any advice for someone like me? Ps. I love your blog! :D

February 27, 2016
image

There, there. Let the old seasoned Signora Paola offer you an advice: Read, and read a lot. I can tell you to go out there and have sex, but 1) It’s not something that should be forced, and 2) Experience may be the best teacher, but it’s another to actually read and see how the writers hone their craft and take notes. The internet is at your fingertips and I’m pretty sure Googling ‘writing erotica’ would give you a wealth of information!

Also, it’s quite unfair that fanfiction is looked down upon (and even ridiculed) by the mainstream, but just browsing Archive Of Our Own and looking for the best ones can really give you a feel on how writing smut should work. That’s how I personally got to it. I’m not saying that everyone should follow my lead, but reading fanfiction does help a lot!

I am sure our patrons can offer more advice, so they are very free to reblog this post and add their own. ♥️

Good luck and much love,
~ Signora Paola

Secluded Haystack

Ladies, do you publish everything sent for the secluded haystack or must we meet any requirements apart from the rules? I’d love to send one in but I think my writing in English isn’t good enough and a better redaction would save you tons of work. ♡

February 25, 2016

We’re not very strict with grammar, my dear anon! Several of the drabbles submitted to us were written by non-native English speakers. We do some minor editing (usually for verb tense consistency), but otherwise we leave them alone.

Judging from your message, I don’t think we’ll have big problems with your work, so as long as it follows the rules then please don’t hesitate to send it to us. (*^▽^*)

~ Signora Paola

Miscellaneous

Not so much a confession but a question, but why does it seem everyone wants Evie to dominate them? I think it’d be much more fun to see her submit for once and let someone else be in control. I can’t be the only one can i?????!!!!

February 24, 2016

I believe this has to do with the way Signorina Frye was portrayed in AC Syndicate, amore. She’s an independent, strong and rather dominant woman. It’s no wonder why people see her as the dominant one when it comes to sexuality. But fear not, amico mio, I’m certain others wouldn’t mind dominating her. Perhaps you can send us your fantasy? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind…

~Claudia

Miscellaneous

I’m the anon who giggles at hearing Paul Amos’s voice in her head. I want to say for the record that his voice is lovely~~~ And while I do find it funny to read the Jacob confessions with his voice, half the time I’m also actually giggling like a blushing schoolgirl (which I partially am). Why must these people have the loveliest voices?

February 24, 2016

Oh, thanks for the clarification, my friend! Personally, I’m less of a giggler and more of a

~ Signora Paola

Secluded Haystack

As a bisexual girl who likes twins, I can try to write smth about Evie for the Haystack, althought I’m not a talented writer and English is not my first language. You have been warned :D But you must tell me what kind of story do you want? How should it look like? You can tell me directly (I will keep your name secret) or you can tell it via our beloved blog (if ladies don’t mind :) ). I can’t promise the date neither, but I’ll try to do it ASAP. If you are interested, then mail me back (*^^*).

February 23, 2016

This is for the anon who sent us this message. ♥️

I personally am thinking of a sort of Evie companion piece to the one I just wrote. 😉

~ Signora Paola

Miscellaneous

I’m quite a new patron to this blog (I love it so much and I’m glad it found it x) and I’ve always wondered how this this blog came into existence?

February 23, 2016

This blog was founded by tumblr user @haytham-senpai , who was our first Signora Paola. The reason for this blog was merely the fact, that every big fandom has a dirty-secrets blog and Assassin’s Creed was in need in one.

So here we are!

Tadah!

-Sister Teodora.

Secluded Haystack

IS ANYONE GOING TO WRITE A HAYSTACK STORY FOR EDWARD?? I’M WAITING…

February 23, 2016

Well, mio tesoro, things like this can’t be pushed. I’m certain that, as we speak, someone is writing something piccante concerning our capitano Edward. You must be patient, or you can submit your own drabble for the viewing pleasure of all his fans.

~Claudia