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That is our mission.
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– Ezio Auditore
IMO, I think all of them would have some kind of foreplay before the main event. ;D I think what I answered here could happen, so to make it different I’m going to use GIFs again 8D Putting this under the cut as always; apologies if you’re viewing this in our actual blog page (it seems that Tumblr finally added the ‘Keep reading’ link on mobile… at least when viewed on your Dashboard). Some of these are really bordering towards NSFW territory so be sure you won’t get into trouble ;D
Desmond: Would bite and kiss you all over
Altaïr: Would push you towards the bed and devour you
Ezio: Would tease your most erogenous spots
Connor: Would run his tongue all over your body
Aveline: Would leave hickeys on your most delicate spots
Edward: Would engage in heavy petting before heading straight towards the goods
Adéwalé: Would you offer to give you a massage first
Shay: Would tease you underneath your clothes
Haytham: Would undress you verrrrrrry slowly
Arno: Would take his sweet time kissing and savouring you
Shao Jun: Would zero in towards your goods and tease you
Arbaaz: Would glide and trace his fingers all over your body
Evie: Would be a huuuge tease and perform the art of frottage
Jacob: Would sample you first which may turn into a full meal
~ Signora Paola
I’ll be using gifs as well, since images can say more than a thousand words. Mie scuse to users browsing in our blog as well. I do hope you enjoy them!
Desmond: he would push you to a wall and start making out with you.
Altair: he would put your collar and show off his dominance to you.
Ezio: would strip you slowly, letting his hands caress your skin.
Connor: his hands would get busy, making you shudder.
Aveline: she would waste no time and undressing you, to have you.
Edward: would not waste any time in groping your bits.
Adéwalé: would use ice to make you needy with desire.
Shay: would run his hands and mouth over your body, the anticipation building.
Haytham: would show you the pleasure on impact play.
Arno: would seduce you kissing the back of your neck and caressing your skin.
Shao Jun: would kiss all of your skin, going for the erogenous zones.
Arbaaz: would play with some food, before actually eating you.
Evie: would go for the price quickly, making sure your more than ready for her.
Jacob: would let you know how hungry he’s for you and eat you right up.
~Claudia
Hmm, hard to say, from looking at the pictures. Without all that heavy fabric she wears, she’s probably a 34D or 32DDD (32E UK sizing) in brassières.
– Ezio Auditore
Oh, have you answered our poll yet? It would be nice to see the male demographic be represented more on here.
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Even if you just lurk ‘for the thrills’, it’s still a valid reason to be on here. ;P I admit, sometimes I find myself laughing more than…feeling sexy from reading all the dirty secrets. ;P
– Ezio Auditore
WELL I am very pleased to see more food porn asks. 8D I hope my answers don’t disappoint, my dear! (Since the yema can either be solid like a chewable candy or more of a filling – as is the case with yema-filled buns ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) – I’ll take these into consideration for each character)
Desmond: A candy in between his lips but he cannot eat it because you’d like to eat it yourself…. and then lick off any excess from his lips.
Altaïr: Pretend to feed him a candy, but once he tries to take a bite you withdraw and place it inside your mouth. You wouldn’t close your mouth though; you’d have your tongue out daring him to take it. When he tries to take it, you withdraw further back AND THEN you eat the damn thing. He’d be very frustrated with you mwahaha.
Ezio: Feed him a yema candy, but quickly kiss him to get a taste of it inside his mouth. 8D
Connor: Sticky filling all over his abs and maybe even his pecs. But never on the nipples, no. Who wouldn’t love to tease this wolf? I mean, imagine licking it off around it and driving him crazy. 8D
Aveline: Drip the filling on her legs and thighs then sloooooooowly lick your way upwards.
Edward: If you’d tease Connor by not licking his nipples, you’d drive Edward nuts by dripping that filling on his nipples and doing slow circular licks and occasionally using your teeth lightly. ;D
Adéwalé: Filling drizzled on his back, specifically, the indention of his spine. Slow and long lick that may extend up to the top of his ass. 8D
Shay: Lick a filling from his collarbone all the way to his neck and chin, then give him a taste by giving him a deep but brief kiss. Hurhur.
Haytham: Feign your most innocent and most puppy dog like expression and ask him to hand-feed you a candy… then nipping his finger in the process. ;D
Arno: Well you already mentioned licking it off his butt, soooo I’m gonna say I’d place several candies on top of his buns and picking each one off with your teeth and “accidentally” biting him in the process.
Shao Jun: A candy on her bellybutton (because I think she has a really cute one). You’d take a bite and nibble on the skin bellow her bellybutton, but you’d make her laugh by alternating it with blowing raspberries on it. ;D
Arbaaz: Drizzling the filling on his hipbones that would leave a sexy trail so close to his groin.
Evie: Several candies lined up on her cleavage. Because wouldn’t you want to bury your face on it and nom your way through that? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Jacob: “Accidentally” dipping his fingers into the sticky filling and offering to clean them. We know he has long fingers, so you can practise your, ehem, skills and see just how far you can take his fingers. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
~ Signora Paola
In case you want to make your own and name it after your favourite Assassin/Templar I’m linking to channels that I follow on YouTube. (A lot of them are also what you call “ASMR” videos ie., the only sounds you’ll hear are the sounds of mixing, etc. I find them really relaxing.)
Desmond: Oreo caramel microwave mug cake. The easiest and most accessible way to bake a cake is through the microwave *nods sagely* And I can’t think of a more American way than adding Oreo to it. I’d eat it when I really want to wind down after work~
Altaïr: “Magic” cake. So-called because it has three types of cake in one (sponge, custard and fudge). When I think of Altaïr I think of all the magic he does with his fingers. *coughs* And when I eat one slice I’ll eat each part carefully and see which I like best. ;D
Ezio: Tiramisu chocolate mousse. Just looking at the name makes me salivate tbh. I’d lap that up during Valentine’s Day.
Connor: Cinnamon roll. Because he IS the most cinnamon roll of all cinnamon rolls. I’d lick the cream first then nibble my way in. 8D
Aveline: Chocolate sponge with fresh ginger. Sweet and a little spicy. Oh, yes, That’s how I see Aveline. I’d nom my way through that.
Edward: Nutella chocolate muffins. Because nothing says “so sinful damn gimme more” than a chocolate cupcake with Nutella inside it. Heck, any food with Nutella should be associated with Edward.
Adéwalé: Hazelnut brownies. If Edward has Nutella, Adé has hazelnut. I’d quickly devour one and wouldn’t finish the whole batch right away. I’d make it last long. Ehem.
Shay: Mango pudding. I live in a tropical country that has a lot of mangoes and normally I eat them very messily (the “true” way of eating a mango is with your bare hands imo). But since we’re talking about desserts and not fruits I’d settle for a Shay mango pudding. Perhaps eat it in the same messy way. 8D
Haytham: Earl Grey cookies. I’ve never tried it, but it looks so damned good like me with Haytham tbh
Arno: Custard butt pudding. Yes, that is a custard pudding that is shaped like a butt. God bless the Japanese. I’d marvel at that butt pudding first before I’d eat it.
Shao Jun: Bubble tea. I’d sip that up until the very last drop (and chew on each tapioca ball).
Arbaaz: Chocolate souffle. I would pour my cream all over that *coughs*
Evie: No bake strawberry cheese cake. Because Evie to me would be less about sweetness and more of that zesty tang. Definitely would have more than one slice because I won’t be able to get enough of it.
Jacob: Salted caramel butter cookie. It’s Jacob so it has to have butter in it. *coughs* I’d lick the caramel centre first, of course. Slow little licks because I’d love to savour that salty sweet goodness. When I’m done I’d bring three or even the whole jar with me at work. You know, for snacks when I’m bored. *coughs*
– Signora Paola
Connor: HOT DOG OF FREEDOM. Okay not really a dessert, but I’ve been craving sausages all month ok? lol. I would….put my hand around the base, place my lips on the tip and then suck it in. L;KJA;LSKDJFA;LSDKFJ;l
Aveline: Ben-Yays. I’d chew on the softness and let the flavor melt in my mouth.
Desmond: Hershey’s chocolate kisses lol. Kiss those Hershey’s nippples~
Haytham: English Toffee. I’d bit on it hard, then just let it melt in my mouth.
Shao Jun: Red Bean Buns, yum! Hot and steamy, just how I’d like it~
I personally like to take my time and savor the flavor of any food I eat. ;P
– Ezio Auditore
What a lovely message, mio caro! I’m certain that all of our anonymous Secluded Haystack writers will appreciate your kind, reassuring words. Who knows maybe you’ll inspire them to write some more!
~Claudia
Oh, mio caro! Your welcome! I’m happy to know this blog, and my silly comments, make your days easier and better. Just so you know, if you need to talk about anything the other ladies and I are always available. I hope you continue to be with us and to feel better.
Grazie and take care,
~Claudia
Maraming salamat po! It’s always a pleasure to see another Filipino in this part of the fandom; I honestly thought that we are so few you can count us with one hand. (*≧▽≦)
Nagmamahal,
~ Signora Paola
I blame Ate Jill (Paola) for all the traffic we get from the PI, beahahakha~
Mabuhay, kababayan! You’ll be pleasantly surprised to know there are a lot of us here.
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– Ezio Auditore
Sorry this is late; I wasn’t able to get on a computer all day until now–well I think Desmond for sure has tried some weed lol, and probably also tried to share it with the group, but only Rebecca agreed.
Altaïr, and he’d probably make a terrible pun to Malik about them being…hashashins, and try to twist the word into hashishins, because hashish is pretty much weed, right? Trollolololol. Although, I think those two are more likely to prefer their own country’s hookah more than anything.
Shao Jun, although like our Syrian hash…asshins, would probably prefer the stuff that’s ‘trending’ in her country, like…opium.
I think Connor would be a straight-edge type of person, although he would probably make an exception for tobacco, but only if it’s used in the traditional, sacred way of his people.
Haytham on the other hand, probably has no qualms smoking a cig or two. He’d probably be that fancy-ass, three-piece suited billionaire businessman carrying around the fanciest, most expensive cigs, like Nat Shermans or something
He’d definitely smoke some Nat Shermans–black & gold label:
Edward and Adewalé would be more into cigars, especially dem good Cuban cigars.
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Aveline would probably just smoke tobacco out of pipes, particularly periques. For cigarrettes, she’d smoke American Spirit since it has perique in it, and probably use a cigarette holder to smoke cigs.
Welp, none of us admins here personally smoke, but either way, here’s to 4/20!
– Ezio Auditore