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Secluded Haystack

Question about Secluded Haystack (you may have answered this before): I had an idea involving Jacob and was wondering if I could write it from his perspective. Reasons being 1: I too am a dude, so I’m not qualified to try and write out what a girl really feels during sexual activity, and 2: The whole story is Jacob describing what he’s doing to our lucky lady reader. So… am I okay to do that or not?

June 7, 2016

That’s sounds like a fantastic idea, anonimo! 

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It makes sense you would like to write it like this, after all. As long as it involves the reader having a dirty time with an assassino, then we will accept it in Secluded Haystack! I think it would be interesting to post a story from his perspective and I’m sure many of our patrons would love to read it!

We hope to receive it soon!
~Claudia

Miscellaneous

Hi hi!! So a LONG while back I commented on how a cute guy took my phone from me and saw that I was looking at your blog and said that he “likes girls that are kinky and play video games” and we’ve been dating for almost 4 months now thanks to this blog!!! Thank you so much for what you do for the fandom!!!!

June 7, 2016

Anonimo, that is fantastic news!!

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We’re very happy that this blog managed to make a pair out of both of you, dear! We hope this relationship keeps going strong and full of love! We wish you the best!

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Grazie for sharing this wonderful moment with us!

~Ezio & the Ladies from La Rosa in Fiore

Miscellaneous

I just want to say that you ladies are so great. Thank you for giving us a safe space to discover and indulge our fantasies of fictional. I also want to say thanks to everyone who sends their confessions. Who knew there could be so many ways to say “I want to do the do with X”? Every time I check out the blog I’m always surprised by the confessions. Hope you’re all well! :)

June 6, 2016

You are very much welcome, my dear anon! Indeed, our patrons (especially our most loyal ones – I’m beginning to think that we should hold Loyalty Awards for them ;D) have the most fertile imaginations even I, as the madame of this bordello, am surprised by how… innovative they can get. (و ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و

As always, remember each of us here is a

~ Signora Paola (who is still waiting for a space Assassin sex confession)

DACS Greatest Hits

I would love to ask the lovely ladies of this bordello if the Assassins were strippers, what would be their stage names and their signature dance move that makes the girls (and guys) go crazy ;D

June 1, 2016

We’ve answered the stage names for the assassini & templari in a previous ask~

For dance moves – I don’t think this has been answered yet, so without further ado…(Under a cut because GIFs!)

Shao Jun:

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Haytham:

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Arbaaz:

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Altair:

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Adéwale:

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Evie Frye:

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Desmond:

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Jacob:

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Aveline:

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– Ezio


I’m going to add the names here just for the fun of it! Signore e signori, welcome to the Hidden Blade! Now presenting:

Bend Over Desmond – Desmond:

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Hot Arabian Nights – Altair:

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The Italian Sausage – Ezio:

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Ravenous Wolf – Connor:

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Cherry Treats – Aveline:

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Sharkmaster Eddy – Edward:

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Moby Dick – Adéwalé:

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Irish Bad Boy – Shay:

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Lord Buckingham – Haytham:

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Footlong Baguette – Arno:

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Jewel of the Dragon – Shao Jun:

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Spicy Curry Treat – Arbaaz:

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Miss Heart Throb – Evie:

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Big Ben “The Cock Tower” – Jacob:

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~Claudia

Miscellaneous

I’m gonna pass my very final exams in a few days… I was wondering if my sweet Edward could cheer me up a bit ? Thank you all, ladies ! (And Ezio !) You’re fantastic !

May 29, 2016

Sweet Edward, you say?

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Now, Edward, do tell us how you’d motivate and encourage our anon to do great on their finals–

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Sooooo…. pass the exams and they get the pirate booty?

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And those golden Assassin jewels?

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……Then they could eat their favourite dessert off your body?

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Right after they remove that dashing suit from you, I see. Thank you, Edward!

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Good luck on your finals, dear anon! May Edward and the song of the booty guide you!

~ From all of us at La Rosa in Fiore

DACS Greatest Hits

May 27, 2016

We really apologise for the tardiness of this response. We’ve got so many to answer that it’s frankly tough to get through them all! ;A; We decided to pick a group of characters and split them between us, just to not make it repetitive. And, as a quick reminder, this is for the playable characters only!


Haytham: I honestly think his first time ever was with Ziio, and it was very nice, slow and sweet. I think his first time would be one of those rare times where he’s very vulnerable instead of the sassy, suave, evil!Bond-like Templar we know him to be. 😛 Just imagining him doing it for the first time with Ziio makes me wanna cry tbh. If someone can write a sweet erotica to this, that would be great…

Connor: Ah yes our sacrificial virgin. >:D Now he’d fumble his first time and would ask his partner a lot during sex for some guidance, lol. I always imagine his first time to be with someone more experienced, and the experienced person having their way with him a little too much (rope darts to be included in the session). ;P

Ezio: Uhh…alright…MY first time….was..with……ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
I think it was with Cristina Vespucci? I try very hard not to remember any memories of her–I don’t think my first time was even that great.

– Signore Ezio


Aveline: It’s sad that we don’t know who she married because I think that would be her first time although she probably fooled around for a bit with, say, Gérald (no penetration though) and maybe even Patience. ;D

Edward: I think his first time was with Caroline and during their wedding night to boot. I think it would be very sweet but a little awkward because they’re both virgins. And I can totally see Edward finishing way faster than he wanted, so he’d try to make it up to her by pleasing her in other… ways. ;D

Adéwalé: Likely during the time he escaped and joined the pirates. I can imagine the pirates bringing him to a brothel and paying for him to spend the night as part of his “initiation.” He’d be really nervous and likely charmed the, well, panties off the lady assigned to him when he offered to “service” her instead.

Shay: He likely lost his virginity early, maybe when he was around 15, with an older and experienced woman. Maybe it was a woman separated from her husband he met in a tavern who wanted to have a taste of a young inexperienced fellow. The woman probably wanted to have her ego boosted due to her separation and Shay was very much willing to do the part. He’d be very willing to let her take the lead.

Shao Jun: I can imagine her first time as part of her “training” as a concubine although it’s most likely not with another man, but with an experienced (and likely older) woman in the harem. I have this headcanon that when she joined the Assassins she was likely celibate for several years, so considering that she never had sexual relations with the Emperor it probably took her a while for her to use what she learned.

Evie: I think she’d be so nervous about it. A lady like her that’s so self-controlled would probably have a hard time letting go during intimate moments and she has to be coaxed by a gentle lover who has much patience (lucky for her Henry certainly fits the bill ;D). I think her first time would have her crying, too, because she’d get so overwhelmed by the emotions.

Jacob: Despite his reputation as the wild scoundrel I think his first time would be rather nerve-wracking for him. Yes, pretty much like Evie he’d be nervous, but he’d bury it under so much false bravado. He’d pretend that it’s not his first time, for instance. His face would be all bragging and smug, but his actions are a whole different matter. I can see his hands shaking and certain nervous ticks (like chewing his bottom lip and his eyes blinking faster and more often) would be really obvious.

~ Signora Paola


Desmond: Probably sometime after he left the Assassin compound and began traveling around, he met a girl on the road and she was his first. Both of them were nervous, since they weren’t sure of what they were doing, but Desmond took the initiative and made sure to give his girl a very good time. Lots of giggles, sweet kisses and reassuring smiles, that’s how it went.

Altair: I assume his first time was with Adha. Both became close friends and eventually their attraction couldn’t be denied. I believe it was her that seduced Altair into his first night with someone. She danced for him and he couldn’t contain himself with her. They lay down and began exploring and teasing each other bodies, discovering what the other liked.

Arno: I have a feeling Élise was his first and that it was a very romantic session at that. They both planned it so they could have a trip together, without no one to bother them. Arno would take the reins making sure she was satisfied before his found his own release. He would also whisper reassuring things to her, because he’s a sweetheart and she deserves that.

Arbaaz: He looks like he has much confidence, but probably got very nervous his first time, that I like to think was with Pyara. He probably seduced her and then, when the time came, got all nervous, only to be assured by her that he was doing it very well. His hands would tremble at touching her skin, but his actions get bolder as she reacts to his touches and kisses.

~Claudia


Oh my gosh, I think I disagree with my fellows. Unsurprising, given my “secret” Templar sympathies…

Desmond: I think that he lost his V quickly after escaping the farm, possibly with the first willing girl who wanted to take him for a ride. I expect she taught him quite a bit before they parted ways.

Arno: In this I actually concur with my fellows. Arno’s world was Elise, and I suspect until well after his death, there were no others.

Haytham: Given his travels and his upbringing, I suspect Haytham lost his virginity to a paid professional. Love was never really something he had in his life after his father died and his mother became distant. Until he met Ziio, I don’t think he saw women really as people because he’d never really known any strong, independent women.

Shay: I think Shay lost his virginity well before he became an Assassin. He grew up on the docks, which meant he had access to lots of booty, and I don’t mean the treasure sort. Given how adorable he is, I think he probably didn’t have to pay, though his first tryst was likely, again, with someone who shared her favours freely.

Aveline: I honestly think Aveline likely didn’t lose her virginity until she was in a long-term, stable relationship. In playing Liberation, she was very married to her work as an assassin, and never had time for romance and other sorts of pursuits. But I think romance would be important to her – there’s no ‘scratching the itch’ for Aveline.

Adewale: As a sailor and a gorgeous, strapping ebony god, I think Adewale had a harem in every port of call. But I think his first time likely happened while he was still a slave, and perhaps not entirely sought after.

Jacob: He was drunk and probably doesn’t really remember his first time. He just woke up beside her in a pool of vomit.

Evie: Wedding night with Henry.

Ezio: With the first girl he was able to charm with a cheesy pick-up line.

I’m afraid I don’t know Altair well enough to have an opinion.

~Rosa

Miscellaneous

Hey today was the last day of High school for me and I was wondering if you wonderful ladies and gentleman would help me celebrate it by throwing a little sexy assassins party? Everyone’s invited! :D

May 22, 2016

LAST DAY OF HIGH SCHOOL, YOU SAY? EVERYBODY, LET’S SING YATTA

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But if you would rather have them do a song and dance number

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CALL 1-800-ASSASSINO AND YOU MIGHT JUST GET AN EZIO SPECIAL

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(Don’t forget to reblog the sauce)

And speaking of sexy Assassins, who else thinks that the only ‘partying’ they’ll be doing is dancing in towels?

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who the fuck asked for charles lee

Just remember to bring an umbrella just in case you get wet from that towel dancing

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LET’S PARTY HARD Y’ALL

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And congratulations to finishing high school! May the Assassins (and Templars) guide you into this new chapter of your life.

(Seriously, follow @brotherhoot if you haven’t already. MAY HER GIFS GUIDE YOU TO COLLEGE)

~ ♥ From all of us at La Rosa in Fiore