announcement

All right, everyone, it’s

All right, everyone. It’s been a while since there has been much activity around here. What happened?

The ‘Great Purge’ of 2019 happened, that’s what.

The Tumblergo employees didn’t want to have any sexual content on Tumblr anymore. This affected our Brotherhood very much, and sadly, it’s not as active as it used to be. But us admins are still here, working in the shadows to bring the light. Though we may not ever reach our glory days again, we can start anew with something just as unique and cherished.

Right now, it is just me and Paola working to keep this bordello running. But if things get crazy again aka ‘Era of the Fryes’, we will enlist help. For now, we are fine with just a skeleton crew.

Since a lot has changed after the purge, and the following have been changed:

 •  Reblogging old secrets from years past. We’ve been doing this for a while, but I am now making it an official announcement. It’s nice to go back to dirty old secrets, especially all the crazy food porn ones, haha. It also helps keep the blog active. You can catch them every Thursday under the ‘Throwback Thursday’ tag.

 • 50 Shades of Pene is no more. I deleted it because it did not end up being what I expected it to be. It had too little submissions to keep it running. Now that the Secluded Haystack can accept more word counts and multi-chapters, having 50 Shades of Pene is redundant. So I deleted it. All stories are now to be submitted to the Secluded Haystack.

•  Secluded Haystack is undergoing a renaissance. No one has submitted anything to the Secluded Haystack since last year. We are still open for submissions, especially now that 50 Shades of Pene is no more. Believe or not, I myself have never submitted anything to the Haystack. Your resident dirty old man has some stories to tell about his dirty travels, so I will be submitting them to the Haystack. You want to know where I’ve been for the past 4 years? I’ve been hiding in Sophia’s bookshop, reading thrillers and honing my own craft, haha..be on the lookout for some Colonial Assassins/Templars and Old!Ezio lovin’ at the Haystack. I am re-submitting my Connor stories. I also have some Shay stories in the works, and perhaps a Haytham one or two. If enough of you show some Daddy love for old Ezio, then I will shower you with my love in return~ I have a thing or two to say to all the baby-girl principesse out there… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

•  We are accepting ‘Ask the Admins’ questions again. We stopped answering them for a while because we received so much, we had no time to edit the confessions themselves. But now that things have quieted down, and Paola and I are now dirty old people, we have some stories to tell, haha. I don’t think we’ll be doing it in meme format again. However, we are open to any questions or headcanons you want us to answer about your favourite characters. Just please, make sure to check the ‘Dirty Bits’, ‘Sweet Bits’, and ‘Asks Memes’ sections of the ‘Ask the Admins’ tags to see if your questions have been answered before sending us any! We don’t want any repeats. Thank you!

•  ‘Dirty polls’ may also make a comeback. If enough interest picks up after the release of Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla, then we may do another round of dirty polls. Just bring us your smörgåsbord of thirst come Valhalla time, hahaha….

This is all for now. Thank you for your cooperation!

Stay thirsty,

~ Ezio