‘I dreamed about meeting Arno at a naughty, private masquerade at a beautiful private country estate. After he slipped my dress off, I tried to cover myself up, he took my hands and bound them behind my back using the ribbon he always wears in his air. The way he watched me as I rode him still gives me butterflies just thinking about it…’
‘Imagine waking in the park when Desmond runs up to you and climbs your trousers with grubby little paws. “Oh I’m sorry”, says the Frye twin of your choice. “I can wash them for you.” Yes, this leads to amazing sex on the washing machine while the laundry is spinning. And many more wonderful dates. No need to thank the matchmaking corgi.’
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Nothing dirty about this I just thought it would be funny: When my mom started to pay attention to Alexios as I played the game. She told me “that man has nice hair…” and I added “arms too, specifically his muscles.” She nods and finally admits “that, plus his eyes and facial hair are great as well…”. It’s just seeing this uptight, Christian French woman thirst for even a moment over a fictional man that cracks me up. That’s all, maybe you laughed maybe you didn’t but it’s funny af to me.
May 10, 2020I mean, who can really blame her
That is truly the pinnacle of video game pixelated glory ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(Also: Why, yes, our patrons who want to reblog this are very free to add more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))
‘As a woman who’s confident in her bust size, and thoroughly aware how much of a breasts man Connor is, I would go about seducing Connor for the evening by crossing my arms more to elevate my breasts. Pretending to stretch just so my chest is ever more tangible through my clothes. Turning my back to him whenever an excuse is present to do so. Knowing how observantly reserved he is he’ll likely take notice whether he wants to or not. As the day goes on he gets clearer and clearer ideas about my body. That my hips are perfect to be rough to, my thighs have just enough to grip to hold onto, missionary and cowgirl would give him the best views of my bare chest, my wind swept hair would decorate my flustering face so well beneath him. Even as he humbles in the proposition for sex, the look I give him is all the confidence boosting he needs to absolutely ravage me for hours.’
Confession [@generousauthorpersonathlete]
‘I’m 5’1” and I can’t stop thinking about the idea of Connor lifting me up when dicking me down. I love it when strong men handle me like that.’
‘Can we have a puns fetish? Because I am deeply aroused by the thought of the assassins telling me filthy things in excruciating puns. Like Desmond saying there is a reason they call him Miles, or “Call me Malik cause Imma lick you until you come,” the worse the better.’
‘I love all of Jacob’s Assassin robes. But I particularly adore the Baron Jordane’s Finery outfit. The only thing I can think about whenever I see him wearing these clothes, it’s him taking me against a wall, still fully clothed, only with his trousers slightly lowered. Having my legs wrapped around his hips, him quickly thrusting, groaning lowly near my ear, leaving open mouthed kisses on my neck as I grip his broad shoulders. God, both him and the idea of fully clothed sex with him will be my ruin.’
‘I want Trilla Suduri (Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order) to eat me out, fuck me with the strap, bite my neck/give me hickeys and whisper dirty things in my ear while I’m all tied up and I want Evie Frye to watch.’
‘The trailer of Assassin’s Creed Valhalla hasn’t been out too long, and I already fell in love at first sight with the protagonist, Eivor. Have you seen him? Tall, muscular, handsome, with those eyes and that beard…I want him to fuck me so bad, and I honestly just want to ride him for the whole night under the northern lights. Uh, is that bad that I already feel THAT attracted to him even if I don’t know his character at all? Lord,I can’t wait to see the game…’