Do you know anyone, dear patrons?
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Who are the Assassin’s porno lookalikes? Or lookalikes for other ac characters?
May 3, 2020
‘Layla and Desmond need to shag. Gloriously, passionately, repeatedly and to the great enjoyment of themselves and this humble voyeur. Another time, yours truly wants a threesome with them.’
‘I need some strong men to help me with some home repairs. I hope Edward and Connor will agree, in exchange for sexual favours. (Please, please, I need some sexy shirtless Kenway men to help me with the heavy lifting)’
‘After a smutty conversation where a friend suggested it, I can’t stop thinking about Arno handgagging me. His fingers down there, working the most sinful noises out of me while his other hand trails up to cover my mouth and muffle my moans while he enjoys having all that power over me, whispering dirty things in French. What a dream.’
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It’s quite comforting the amount of dirty thoughts and fantasies people have about fictional characters. How it’s not just me, seriously do you have any idea how validating that would have been for an eleven year old me? Growing up playing Ezio and Connor, no else cared for video games except the male elitists who bullied me for my interest in games. I had no one to tell how hot I found Ezio and how I fell in love with Connor more for his personality. Thanks Asscreed (lmao that sentence though)!
April 30, 2020We very much welcome you, dearest! No fantasy is too dirty in these parts (as long as it abides by our rules of course). 😉
I believe that, at first, nearly all of us denied not only to other people but to ourselves about being attracted (especially sexually attracted) to video game characters. “Why do I want to have sex with someone who doesn’t exist? And that’s made up of a bunch of polygons? IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!” That was honestly my first thought when I discovered that I was attracted to a video game character. I can just imagine how it would be an even weirder experience for someone to get attracted to a video game character that was designed during the 80′s, when game characters were literally made up of blocky pixels. We actually got lucky with the current generation of games, with characters being so life-like and being voiced by real people. Certainly not as weird compared to the early days. 🤣 But I digress.
Oh, and now I really want to ask our patrons: Who was the video game character that you were first sexually attracted to? Mine would be Dante from the first Devil May Cry. Sure, I was attracted to other characters before him, like Squall Leonhart from Final Fantasy VIII, but it was more of a “oh, he’s cute” type of attraction. Dante was legitimately the first game character that, shall we say, pulled my devil trigger 😏 Anyway, I’m very curious to know about our patrons’ replies!
Love,
~ Signora Paola
‘Can I have Evie and Aveline for the duration of the quarantine? And a fine box of sex toys, oh, what would we get up to locked in!’
‘I want older Jacob to spank me and then fuck me mercilessly doggy style.’
‘Ah Tabai? More like Ah Ta-Bae. He’s such a pretty Assassin. I wanna ride him on a beach in Mexico, or, in a pinch, any bit of warm sunny outdoors will do.
‘Another time I wanna get double-teamed by him and Eddie, or tripple teamed by him, Eddie, and Kidd in either gender version. Outdoors in broad, tropical daylight.’
‘Can I have Evie, Aveline, and Connor to entertain me in this boring quarantine? I’m sure being locked in with them I would find a lot of ways to pass the time.’
‘I want to be blindfolded as the Assassins have their way with me, only their sexy voices letting me know who is fucking me now.’