Miscellaneous

This workshop has ended. Thank you everyone who came. I have put notes below the break for anyone who is interested. These are not verbatim notes, and I’ve probably forgotten some since I took shitty notes (i.e. I didn’t take any).

Writing workshop 101: The first of many?

INTRODUCTION

Hello, my name is Stacey, a.k.a. HypatiaTheLibrarian. On DACS, you know me as Rosa. I am one of the lovely moderators over at DACS, although I do not edit confessions. I handle administrative duties on the DACS blog, census reveals, and I’m the main editor over at Secluded Haystack. I am an award-winning journalist and photographer, and I write for a living and I write for fun. Which means, I am the biggest dork around.

I have written stories since I was a child, going back to Grade 1 when I wrote a very dramatic story about a lion escaping from the zoo. Except, in Grade 1 I couldn’t spell so that lion was actually a loin. So I guess technically that was my first erotic story, since loins were running around the neighbourhood.

PURPOSE

The purpose of this workshop is three-fold. The first is to ascertain if there’s actual interest in this sort of thing. I’m hoping there is, because the second reason we’re doing this workshop is because most of the Haystack-related asks we get at DACS are from people who believe they’re not good writers and wish they could write for Haystack. Finally, the last reason we are doing this is because of EL James, the writer of the horrifically terrible 50 Shades of Grey, can make millions and have a movie made of her awful work, so can we. So let’s go make some millions.

ABOUT TODAY

Today is a pretty generic workshop. It’s mostly about encouragement and figuring out what you wanna do. Here’s the thing:

Everyone is a shitty writer.

We are our own harshest critics. We hate our work. We will never be satisfied with our work. And our work will be full of mistakes. I say that as a professional writer who once wrote about a Mexican food dish made of corn and porn (instead of pork). And as an editor, we all suck, because my editor didn’t catch it and it was printed in the newspaper. The restaurant has it framed on their wall to this day. Shit.

The critics out there who are nasty and mean when it comes to fan fiction almost always have one thing in common, and that is that they themselves do not write. It’s easy to be an armchair critic, especially if you’re not a writer. People who don’t write, even if just for fun, don’t appreciate the time and effort that goes into honing what is a skill and an art. Very few people pick up the proverbial pen and write like a god. You can’t all be me.

Even when you’re a natural who can vomit words out at alarming speed, it still takes effort to hone that skill. For those who don’t come by these skills naturally, it just takes MORE effort. And people who read fiction without an understanding of the effort can be the worst dicks out there. So just remember: When someone writes mean shit about your shit, they probably can’t shit on a toilet, and wear diapers.

STORYTELLING

Every story has some elements. Since we’re all DACS people, let me put it into really understandable terms.

INTRODUCTION:
You and Jacob meet in a bar. He checks you out and figures out what you look like, smell like, what you do, and so forth. You do the same about him.

INTENSIFICATION:
You and Jacob go on many hi-jinx-filled adventures, some of which aren’t related to the main story but help build towards that big story finish.

CLIMAX:
Sex sure ruined this word for any other use, but every story has one key climax, which is a different type depending on the story. In a murder/mystery story, it’s the reveal of the murderer and the escape of the protagonist. In an erotic story, it’s exactly what it’s called. In a romantic story, it’s that final connection between characters.

CONCLUSION:
This is when all the loose ends are tied up, and when you’re not in a George R.R. Martin book, the protagonists get a happy ending. If you are in a GRRM book, this is when the protagonists die.

So, every story, no matter how long or short, basically follows this format. The first chapter or so helps you get to know your character, build an attachment to them so you can enjoy riding along with them during the story. If you as a reader can’t connect with the key protagonist, you are going to have a hard time enjoying the story. So the introduction is important as an author, because this is when you tangle up the reader like the victim in a tentacle hentai story.

During the intensification stage, your characters begin to climb towards that key climax, but you don’t get there quite yet. There are all sorts of mini-adventures to help endear your character to the reader and introduce players in the story. Some of these mini-adventures may have their own little climaxes, but like any good lover, you’re after the big bang.

CLIMAX:
This is when the key storyline comes to that tipping point. Villains are revealed, protagonists are endangered, or extremely hot and messy sex ensues.

CONCLUSION:
Tie up the loose ends, put the story to bed, and answer any outstanding questions.

EDITING TIPS/TRICKS

Editing tip No. 1: Write until the story is done. Don’t stop to fix it until it’s done. Got writer’s block? Write terribly until it’s done. If you stop to do anything else you’ll get stuck.
Editing tip No. 2: Step away from the computer after you’re done writing. Do something else for a long while and clear your head. Then come back to it.
Editing tip No. 3: Read the story aloud. This will help you recognize things like run-on sentences. You’ll hear where there should be a period or a comma. It will also help you identify repetitive sentences, or things that just read awkwardly.
Editing tip No. 4: Find a writing buddy who can read your stuff and provide genuine critique – that means more than ‘Oh, it’s good.’ You want someone who can look into your work and say, “Wow, I really loved how you described this character’s quirk. It made him come alive to me.”

QUESTIONS:

How do you keep your viewpoints straight?
You can switch character viewpoints if you want, but you must absolutely clearly delineate that you’ve done so. Easy ways to do this is to start a new chapter from a different character’s viewpoint (GRRM uses this), or have a “break” in the story (three stars, a line break, et cetera). This viewpoint delineation can also be applied to thoughts and dreams. For example, I use italics to clearly show when my characters are dreaming or thinking, versus what is happening in reality.

How do you keep your pronouns in same-gender stories straight?
READ THIS: http://hypatiathelibrarian.tumblr.com/post/141876758468/hypatias-writing-101-dialogue-and-transitions

Does music and reading influence your writing?
Absolutely. Put on music that is angry if your characters are angry, sad if they are sad. It will help your words flow. I’ve used other people’s work as inspiration, but be very careful that it inspires, rather than plagiarises. Photos are also good inspiration.

Is there a rule of thumb for protagonist details in reader-insert stories?
Yes and no because each reader is different. Some people get really put out by a lot of details when it’s character inserts, other’s don’t. Generally, I try to keep it vague.

Is the Thick Skin or Get Out really true when it comes to writing fan-fiction?
Thick skin is true. People are dicks. But the Get Out part isn’t true. That’s why we have Haystack and that’s why we have DACS. These are safe places where we don’t judge, and the dicks who do judge, do it silently. The reality is, there will always be someone who doesn’t like your writing, even if it’s great. Because there are people who bought 50 Shades of Grey after all. But keep writing. Write some more. Write a lot more. Write about those dicks being murdered in a messy fashion. Go Loreena Bobbitt if you have to.

CONCLUSION: WRITE WRITE WRITE AND FUCK THE HATERS. Have fun with it. This is a skill – few people are born naturals, and even born naturals have to work at it. If you’re not a natural, you just have to work harder. And you’ll get better the more you do. 🙂