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Miscellaneous

Miscellaneous

Well… I’m going to write a fan fiction about AC, obviously a smut one. I’m totally new at this because I’ve never written any fan fic, could you give me any tips??

June 30, 2016

Hi there Anon,

It’s very hard to give tips like this because it’s such a wide topic, with so many tips to give. However, here are a few I live by:

  1. Write, and don’t stop until you’re done. Don’t edit, don’t go back to fix, just write until you’re done!
  2. Show us, don’t tell. For example, “He was aroused” is telling us the character is aroused. It’s more fun to read if you show us the signs of his arousal. Flushed cheeks. Bright eyes. Racing pulse. Other visual signs. It let’s us create a mental visual that a simple tell doesn’t let us build.
  3. Don’t use wild names for genitals. While Cockrocket2000 might sound great in your head, it’s just going to stand out as silly to readers. Likewise, very clinical terms sometimes can be really out of style so be careful if you’re throwing vaginas and penises around.
  4. After you’re finished, change the font, size, and colour. Save, close it, go do something else for at least 30 minutes. Then come back and start to edit. The change will snap your mind out of patterns and you’ll see mistakes or problems. Read it aloud. And remember, run-on sentences are satan’s sack sweat.

Love,
Rosa

(PS: IF you have further questions you can hit me up here or at @hypatiathelibrarian; I’d rather have a discussion with you than respond public, and I can keep your identity anonymous if you’re shy. 🙂

Miscellaneous

I would want to see how Ezio or Jacob would look like if they were wearing a bunny suit (you-know-the-sexy-one?). The view would be worthy of nosebleed!

June 30, 2016

I’m not certain which sexy bunny suit you are referring to.

Is it this one?

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Or this one?

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I think both these fine gentlemen would look fantastic in those heels btw

~ Signora Paola

Miscellaneous

Headcanon: Paola is in reality an intergalactic shapeshifting cat that decided to run a bordello after visiting the Earth a few times in the past

June 30, 2016

HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I’M AN INTERGALACTIC ENTI–

*clears throat* You would be mistaken, my dear. Cats are the realm of my esteemed colleague Rosa. In fact, here is her cat, Mr. Dick N Balls

And he demands that you give him all your naughty underwear.

And now… I should go. My planet bordello needs me.

~ Signora Paola

Miscellaneous

Headcanon: I kind of think that Signora Paola would be the “Mama Bear” of the bordello. Sweetest thing in the world to her fellow assassins and followers, and a deadly force of nature to those that would mess with them.

June 30, 2016

You flatter me, my dear. ♥ I wish I could give you all a group hug. Truth be told I would rather keep the peace to detriment to my own emotions sometimes. I would rather not lose my cool because it is honestly not a pleasant sight. ;D Make love not war, I always say.

Grazie mille for your message!

Love,
~ Signora Paola

Miscellaneous

Questions for the admins; whats the dirtiest confession you have received?

June 29, 2016

To be honest, we have way too many to list…but I think this confession from 3 years back was what I personally thought was the dirtiest, at least at that time ahaha.

And I think anything by @madamretto has got to be some of the dirtiest on here, and she’s not ashamed of it!

– Ezio Auditore

Miscellaneous

I looked into that true crime blog for a bit due to immense curiosity thinking it was something like what I’d watch on Investigation Discovery….I think I need eye bleach. I was so wrong. It’s one thing to be interested in crime and why humans can do evil it’s another to fetishize mass shooters and think they are cute or would make good boyfriends.

June 29, 2016

We added our reply under the cut just so you know; if you’re interested, please continue reading.

Honestly that’s what we first thought as well, that it’d just be an archive of serial killers’ history (because we do find crime history to be intriguing) but nope…

So many of these people believe that they’re girlfriends of ghosts/spirits of famous murderers–they call it being ‘twin flames’. I wonder WHY they always discover that their twin soul is some famous murderer, and not a lonely fisher from Cambodia….

It’s not just teen girls that are into this, but grown 20-something year old women. *shurg*

But remember, women went insane over Richard Ramirez (the infamous ‘Night Stalker’). One of his crazy fans even married him (and also landed herself in prison along with him), and threatened to commit suicide when he was executed. I even recall reading one of the responses she wrote to the fan mail that she and Richard all received, saying that it’s some kind of injustice to have him imprisoned for life due to his hard upbringing. I mean yeah it sucked he didn’t get a better life, and that could have prevented him from becoming a serial killer, but that doesn’t excuse his actions. So he must face the consequences.

She and Richard separated before he died of lymphoma, though.

Because of some strange goings on during his trial and the nature of his crimes, some people thought he was legitimately demonic–rumors that he was possessed or was the devil in disguise. If his crimes were current, I cannot imagine the ~*~edge~*~ on tumblr.

I just don’t get this at all. A lot of these men seem sweet and charming during interviews because they are sociopaths; there’s a chilling undercurrent to that charm. There are even female fans of Jeffrey Dahmer, and he was gay. Do they think he would have wanted them?

There’s a difference between finding something intriguing, or full-on fetishizing it for the sake of ~*~edge~*~ points. Personally, I found the case of Adam Lanza quite intriguing, given the whole ‘being refused treatment for his Asperger’s diagnosis by his gun-loving mother’ (who became his first kill, oh the irony). I think the relationship between his untreated diagnoses, and his secluded way of living/background in relation to what he did, is interesting and worth consideration–but not to the point of wanting to masturbate to it….

I think if any of these girls really met up with their idols in some alternate universe, they’d turn tail and run. The ones that don’t, probably deserve what they get.

– Ezio Auditore


Being attracted to the unknown, the dangerous, the risky – it’s a natural thing humans do. That’s why freak shows existed, why America’s First Nations people were paraded through Europe, etcetera. The different, the unknown. It’s why girls chose Fonzie over Richie, for example.

History shows us that there have been camp followers for almost every major male movement. Whether it’s women following armies or women attracted to men imprisoned, it happens. In most cases, this is harmless fantasizing, like how we imagine Assassins or Templar characters to ravish us on beaches, in the forests, in boudoirs, or basically anywhere it works out.

It becomes harmful when people begin being unable to separate reality from their idealized fantasies.

– Rosa

Miscellaneous

Send me a Headcanon for my character and I’ll post it if I accept it.

June 28, 2016

We often get questions from our patrons about what our head canons are for other characters – how about *you* guys send us your head canons about the workers of this bordello? 😉

– from all of us at Rosa in Fiore


reblogging this again because we received *no* answers for this! We hope that our patrons have some nice head-canons to come up with this time!

Miscellaneous

Bloody hell, this blog has been the awakening of my dirty thoughts about Jacob and now I just can’t stop! I really need help (and a Father Jacob whom I can confess my sins to) no one among my family or friend must know this or they’ll surely think I’m insane. Love this blog xxx

June 28, 2016

I can relate, my dear anon. *nods sagely* And molte grazie for your support! Have you confessed your sins already? ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

~ Signora Paola

Miscellaneous, Secluded Haystack

In the “Phone Call” fanfic on Secluded Haystack, Jacob tells the reader about the blowjob she gave him while they were driving to Vegas, soooo… why don’t you write something about it? :))) amazing blog anyways xx

June 26, 2016
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Well, now that you mentioned it… I just might, my dearest anon. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Grazie! ♥
~ Signora Paola (who has actually finished another Jacob drabble, but is still working on the art to accompany it)