‘Now, I have two crushes from Assassin’s Creed: Ah Tabai and Bayek, and I just can stop thinking about a threesome with them. Ah Tabai kneels behind me, pulls my back against his body, penetrates tenderly my butt and whispers “In k’ateech” (I love you in Yucatec) while Bayek kneeling in front of me, fingering me and sucking my nipples. Each time I think about this fantasy, my lower body hurts a lot. Ah Tabai looks savage and tender at the same time and Bayek looks savage and mysterious I find.’

Screencap credit [Ah Tabai]