“I am snarky and independent and madly in love with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s sweet gentlemanly kind self, but sometimes I imagine belonging to a Mad King Ratonhnhaké:ton who took the Apple and took over where Washington left off – either as his Queen, his personal sexpet, or as a member of a massive harem – and just shiver in bliss. He wouldn’t even need the Apple’s power to control me, all he’d need to do is command and I’d obey.“

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