‘I’ve been playing the Tyranny of King Washington DLC for a few days. Holy hell, give me Ratonhnhaké:ton! I’m pretty sure he would be very animalistic in the bed. Imagine him kissing you passionately while he fingers you, his strange eyes glowing as he growls and licks every part of your body he can reach until you come around his fingers. And then a few rounds of passionate sex. He would love to give you oral and you would have finger-shaped bruises on your thighs the next morning.’