‘After Haytham’s meetings with the other Templars, we have our own “meeting” in his study. Where the grandmaster will have control over my body with just his fingers. He would eventually bend me over his desk to pound me. He will whisper things in my ear how I was being a tease during the meeting and that I needed to be punished. He whispered the naughty plans that he had in store for me. At the end of the night, we lay in his bed together in a loving embrace.’