‘“Why is everyone obsessed with Jacob? He’s not that attractive of a character.” Watch me close the Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate trailer. Stroll over to the dresser. “Jacob Frye is an animated character within a video game; not real life.” Pull out a vibrator because I have a weakness for Jacob Frye, men I cannot ever hope to bang, and because the graphics in that trailer legitimately gets me wet. I then go to a webpage with Paul Amos’ face, because if that’s the closest thing, then dammit, I’ll take it.’