‘I’d like to imagine slipping up on a mission with Shay and almost getting killed. On the way back I’d sit in front of him on a horse, Shay would have sat in silence since the slip up and I worry that he’s angry with me. I tell him it’s okay with me if he’s angry with me. He sighs and tells me he’s not angry with me but with himself for almost getting me killed. That he’s angry at himself for almost losing me. He’d hug me from behind, later we’d stop and make love intensely in a cave.’