Connor: he would do a drunk phone call like in this video link. And he’d probably look like this, too
Edward: yeah I don’t think he can handle himself at all lol he’d be all like–
Haytham: can probably handle himself a lot better than his dad lol like the sassy don that he is like–
Altair: would be a raging drunk like
Probably be yelling “I’M NOT A NOVICE” all throughout the streets of Damascus while drunk, lol
Desmond: can probably handle himself but gets wasted on purpose, like a drunk college party animal
Aveline: Is more of a social drinker and is more likely to get tipsy than drunk
Shao Jun: she would be very discreet about it but get all bubbly and giggly underneath all that pretense
Ezio: I would look like I belong on the Jersey Shore cast while drunk–
– Ezio Auditore
Adéwalé would get all argumentative and would be all ready to fight
Shay would be making silly faces all night long and would even attempt to impersonate everyone (he does a terrible impression of Haytham tho ssshhh don’t tell him)
Arno would get all sad and weepy and basically being all emotional, thanking each person for being nice to him and asking them for a hug
Arbaaz would try to stay up and awake but nope. He’s pretty much wasted
Evie would transform into a HUGE chatterbox. Like once her mouth opens there’s no filtering it. Idk which is juicier – her divulging how she and Henry read and follow the Kama Sutra or That One Time Jacob Ran Away From His Room All Naked And Shrieking Like A Banshee™ because he saw a spider on his forehead when he woke up
Jacob… don’t even leave him alone. Ever. Not even for five minutes. Just don’t. Unless you want a massive destruction that would register a 10 on the Torino Scale
~ Signora Paola