‘I like to call Ezio’s pene “The Extra Spicy Italian Sausage”–and I’m not even sorry. I also call Connor’s “The American Hotdog”; Altaïr’s will always be “The Hot Beef Shish Kebab”. Arno’s is obviously “The Baguette” or perhaps “The Frankfort”, seeing as he’s also Austrian. Haytham’s is “The Banger” since he’s English. I have yet to come up with a nickname for Edward’s…’

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I told you I would do something special for you, anon. Although you nearly made me get in trouble for it thanks to mio marito looking over my shoulder when I was editing this…

–Signora Paola