‘The other night, I had a dream about Malik. I was his mistress, sneaking into the assassin’s Bureau, and had sex with him in this secret backroom. Malik was laying on those fancy silk pillows and rugs, while I was riding on top of him. We were about to get rougher until we heard a loud knocking on the desk in the other room, which annoyed me and Malik because that meant Altaïr was there. Malik got up in the middle of what were were doing, and that made me mad. Altaïr, why must you cock-block!?’

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